Can Two Weeks Change A Life?

Let me tell you a little story about my life. 

Some of you know that I have been to Haiti because I have talked to you about it or because you have just heard about it. This post is pretty much going to be a reflection about what my time was like in Haiti and how God can work in a life if you let Him. Also since I miss Haiti more then you could ever miss a place, I really need to write about it since I can't just be there right now.

So for some reason God decided to make me a person who deeply cares and loves all people. I feel so deeply when someone around me or near me is struggling, with anything whether it is big or small. All my life I have seen and noticed the pain of the world around me and wondered why no one was helping them. So ever since I was very little I wanted to change the world for good but I really had no idea how.

 

The opportunity sort of came when I was just a freshman in high school. My youth group was going on a short term missions trip, and without hesitation I decided to sign up for it. I had no idea what or why I was doing what I was doing but I just kind of mindlessly went for it. I was so young both age wise and spiritually. I learned so much about myself, and for most of my first trip I didn't exactly feel like myself. I felt uncomfortable and scared about what each day would bring. I was completely safe the whole time and I was surrounded by plenty of people that cared about me and could have directed me back to thinking in a Godly way. But instead I let fear control my trip. I didn't rely on God when I should have. The trip was amazing even though I let my fear get in the way of God's work that week. I saw, heard and felt things I will never ever be able to forget. Haiti is amazing that way. It gets in your heart and gets stuck there.

After coming home from my first missions trip I learned and realized why a lot of the things I was feeling and going through happened. I knew I had to go back. Everything inside me said it. I didn't go as hard as I could have and I was disappointed in myself because I knew I could do better serving God. So being home for a while after God allowed me to grow in him and become stronger. He showed me that there are always going to be things in life that scare you and make you filled with fear but the only way that you will overcome what you are feeling and thinking is trusting him with whatever it is that you are so afraid of. Sometimes He doesn't take away what it is that scares you but He walks you through it and teaches you things about Him and yourself the whole way through.

God gave me a second chance to get it right and go all out for him. Another short term missions trip with my youth group came up. At first I had hesitations because I remembered what happened. But I prayed about it and I realized this is what I had to do. I needed to go all out for God no matter what would happen or how scared I was. This was my chance to finally put my fear in the ground and trust Him because He is more then worthy of my trust.

So I went back to Haiti. It was a completely different experience. I felt like I was finally seeing clearly, I saw what God wanted from me and I was going to try my hardest and give all the energy that I had to give Him my all. This week totally wrecked my mindset, how I saw the world, how I wanted to live my life and just me in general. 

SO I know what some of you have to be thinking 'How can one week or even two weeks change you that much?' Well I'm going to tell you.

Going to Haiti made me realize so much about the world and my faith. I know that when you give your life to serve God that you sometimes (most of the time) need to be uncomfortable in order to serve him fully. This trip made me realize that God wants my life all of it, my fear, my doubt, and my future. I know what ever I do next in my life it will be because I want to glorify God. Whatever it may be. I am so thankful God intervened in my life. I still feel so lost and afraid sometimes but I know now who to run to. I miss Haiti so much, and I pray God will bring me back to missions no matter how and no matter where.

Its all in His timing and His will.

As Always, Through My Filter.